The Engineering Leader

Chapter 3. Embracing Growth

When I think about growth, I think about drowning rats and boiling frogs because this is what growth often feels like—or looks like—especially when it’s hard and not going particularly well.¹ The rat-drowning school of growth is to throw someone in the deep end and let them figure it out.² If they do, they’ll become good swimmers. The frog-boiling school of growth is to gradually turn the heat up so the frog doesn’t notice, and if they survive, they’ll be heat resistant…

This metaphor sounds violent and less than ideal. But what I like about it is that hard periods of growth feel difficult. These metaphors capture the feeling of “Can I do this?” and “Can I sustain this?”

For all I like to write about—and practice—what good management looks like, the reality is that many managers aren’t that good, and even good managers, operating under their own set of pressures, aren’t good for everyone all of the time. Very few people get everything they need, when they need it, to be successful. Everyone has their moments where they’re struggling. If we’re lucky, these are the moments where we learn most of all. If we’re not, they’re moments where the best thing we can say about them is “I survived.”

The question is: how do we make it more likely that we learn and grow as much as possible? What resources can we draw on?

A fantastic book on getting the most out of feedback is Thanks for The Feedback by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen (Penguin). One concept within it ...