What Your Body Says (and how to master the message): Inspire, Influence, Build Trust, and Create Lasting Business Relationships

Chapter 3. Gestures of Relationship

Gestures of relationship have more flexibility than gestures of location, teaching, or expectation. The most common relationship gestures in a business setting are hand gestures; for example, the palm up, the palm down, and the sideways palm. A palm(s) up gesture is interpreted as friendly because it conveys that the speaker is open to suggestions and/or seeking information. You may have noticed that when asking questions, speakers often gesture with the palm up toward the other person. This makes others feel they are the center of attention. If the speaker and the listener already have a solid relationship, the palm facing up can also mean the listener is being called on to do something or respond in some way.

All gestures must be viewed in context. A palm facing up makes a person feel good, appreciated, listened to, or encouraged, while a palm facing down can stop two-way communication, and often makes others feel as if they aren't being heard. The palm(s) down gesture says you are sending information, or this topic is very serious and/or not open to discussion. The palm(s) sideways gesture means you are discussing something serious or are on the fence about the issue.

There is a gender bias for the palm sideways gesture, which is midway between the openness of the palm up and the closed feeling of the palm down. Women from Western cultures rarely ...