The Kind Leader

The Kind Leader

by Karyn Ross
Released September 2021
Publisher(s): Productivity Press
ISBN: 9781000434651

Read it now on the O’Reilly learning platform with a 10-day free trial.

O’Reilly members get unlimited access to books, live events, courses curated by job role, and more from O’Reilly and nearly 200 top publishers.

Start your free trial

Book description

Kindness and leadership aren’t often synonymous. Ask someone to describe "good leadership" to you and you will hear many adjectives used: authentic, bold, challenging, charismatic, decisive, empowering, fearless, goal-oriented, humble, inspiring, original, passionate, role-model, strategic, and transparent, to name of a few.

Table of contents

  1. Cover
  2. Half Title
  3. Title Page
  4. Copyright Page
  5. Contents
  6. Preface
  7. With Kind Thanks
  8. 1 Isn’t Kindness a Sign of Weakness?
    1. Discussion: Kind Leader Theory and Ideas for You to Think About
      1. Defining Leadership
      2. Defining Kindness
      3. Empathy
      4. Compassion
      5. Kindness
      6. Assumptions, Systems and Models Frame Thoughts, Feelings and Actions
      7. Change the Outcome by Changing the Model
      8. People Create Models and Systems
    2. Practice: Practical Exercises to Use to Turn Your Thoughts into Action
      1. Exercise 1: Recognizing When I’m a Leader and When I’m a Follower
      2. Exercise 2: Seeing How I’m Leading with Kindness Now
      3. Exercise 3: Making the Models That Frame My Thoughts and Actions Visible
    3. Reflection: What Would You Do? Kind Leader Practice Scenarios
      1. A Tale of Two First Days
        1. Scenario 1 – Kay’La’s Story: Does It Really Have to be ‘Unkind’ at the Top?
      2. Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply
        1. Scenario 2 – Kevin’s Story: ‘You Can’t Teach an Old Customer Service Rep New Tricks’… Can You?
      3. Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply
    4. Chapter 1 Kind-Points
    5. Notes
  9. 2 The Five Key Characteristics of a Kind Leader
    1. Discussion: Kind Leadership Starts with You
      1. Leaders’ Actions Create Culture
      2. Kind Leaders Lead by Kind Example
    2. Key Characteristic 1: Kind Leaders Actively Model Kind Behavior
    3. Key Characteristic 2: Kind Leaders Deliberately Think, Speak and Act Kindly
      1. Kind Leaders Are ‘People’ (Not ‘Things’) Oriented
    4. Key Characteristic 3: Kind Leaders Consider Others First
    5. Key Characteristic 4: Kind Leaders Reflect Deeply about Their Actions
      1. Kind Leaders Pay Attention to ‘How We Get There’ Not Just ‘Where We Are Going’
    6. Key Characteristic 5: Kind Leaders Focus on the Means
    7. Keep the Five Key Characteristics in Mind
    8. Practice: Practical Exercises to Use to Turn Your Thoughts into Action
      1. Exercise 1: How Do Organizational Values and Leadership Behaviors Match?
      2. Exercise 2: How Do the Five Key Characteristics Apply to You?
    9. Reflection: What Would You Do? Kind Leader Practice Scenarios
    10. Do As I ‘Say’ and As I Do!
      1. Scenario 1: Kay’La’s Story: What Does Respect Look Like?
        1. Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply
      2. Scenario 2: Kevin’s Story: “All’s Well That ‘Ends’ Well”?
        1. Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply
    11. Chapter 2 Kind-Points
    12. Notes
  10. 3 Why How We Get There Is as Important as Where We Are Going
    1. Discussion: The Kind of Culture You Have Depends on the Kind of Leader You Are
      1. Leaders Who Focus on the Ends Only Can Create a Culture of Fear
      2. Kindness and Fear Don’t Go Together!
      3. Leaders Who Focus on the Means Can Create a Culture of Trust
    2. Together, Trust and Kindness Can Lead to Greater Happiness
    3. Why Kind Leadership and “Leaving People Alone” Don’t Go Together
    4. What about the ‘Results’ Though?
    5. How Do You Get from a Culture of Fear to a Culture of Trust and Kindness?
    6. Practice: Practical Exercises to Use to Turn Your Thoughts into Action
      1. Exercise 1: Negative Effects of an Ends-Focused Culture on Fear
      2. Exercise 2: Positive Effects of a Means-Focused Culture on Trust
    7. Reflection: What Would You Do? Kind Leader Practice Scenarios
      1. Trust Comes from Spending Time Together
        1. Scenario 1: Kay’La’s Story: What Are You Afraid of? And Why?
      2. Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply
        1. Scenario 2: Kevin’s Story: ‘Seeing Is Believing … and Trusting!’
      3. Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply
    8. Chapter 3 Kind-Points
    9. Notes
  11. 4 Think Kindly: Kind Leaders Assume Positive Intent
    1. Discussion: Kind Leadership Takes Practice
      1. Thinking Kindly Is the First of Three Key Kind Leader Practices
      2. Think Kindly Behavior 1: Always Assume Positive Intent
      3. Think Kindly Behavior 2: Check Your Thoughts Frequently
      4. Think Kindly Behavior 3: Consciously Change Unkind Thoughts to Kind Ones
    2. Kind Leaders Have Best Interests at Heart!
      1. Thinking Kindly Focuses Leaders on Others
      2. Kind Leaders Think Kindly about Themselves as Well
    3. Practice: Practical Exercises to Use to Turn Your Thoughts into Action
      1. Exercise 1: Always Assume Positive Intent: Recognizing Negative First Impression
      2. Bonus Exercise
      3. Exercise 2: Check Your Thoughts Frequently: Making Unkind Thoughts Conscious
      4. Bonus Exercise
      5. Exercise 3: Change Unkind Thoughts to Kind Ones
      6. Bonus Exercise
    4. Reflection: What Would You Do? Kind Leader Practice Scenarios
      1. Practicing Thinking Kindly Takes Practice
        1. Scenario 1: Kay’La’s Story: If at First You Don’t Think Kindly …
      2. Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply
        1. Scenario 2: Kevin’s Story: ‘Think, Think Again …’
      3. Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply
    5. Chapter 4 Kind-Points
    6. Notes
  12. 5 Speak Kindly: Use Words of Encouragement and Growth
    1. Discussion – Words Matter: Choose and Use Yours Kindly
      1. Speaking Kindly Is the Second of The Three Key Kind Leader Practices
      2. Speak Kindly Behavior 1: Choose Your Words Kindly
      3. Leaders’ Words Travel Far, Fast and Carry a Lot of Weight
      4. What Kind of Words Are Kind?
      5. Speak Kindly Behavior 2: Use a Kind Tone of Voice
    2. Speak Kindly Behavior 3: If It’s Not Kind, Don’t Say It!
    3. Kind Leaders Practice the Basics: Say Please, Thank You and I’m Sorry
      1. Speaking Kindly Ties Thoughts to Actions
    4. Practice: Practical Exercises to Use to Turn Your Thoughts into Action
      1. Exercise 1: Becoming Conscious of Your Words
      2. Exercise 2: Deliberately Replacing Unkind Words with Kind Ones
      3. Exercise 3: Is Your Body Language Kind or Not?
      4. Exercise 4: Deliberately Replacing Unkind Words with Kind Ones
    5. Reflection: What Would You Do? Kind Leader Practice Scenarios
      1. Practice Speaking Kindly Because Your Words Create Your Followers’ World
        1. Scenario 1 – Kay’La’s Story: If You Use ‘Fighting Words’ Don’t Be Surprised If You Get a Fight!
      2. Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply
        1. Scenario 2 – Kevin’s Story: ‘I Don’t Want to Believe My Ears …’
      3. Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply
    6. Chapter 5 Kind-Points
    7. Notes
  13. 6 Act Kindly: Kind Leaders Put Humanity First
    1. Discussion: Kind Leaders Lead by Kind Example
    2. Acting Kindly Is the Third of The Three Key Kind Leader Practices
      1. Act Kindly Behavior 1: Check in with People, Not on Them
      2. Get to Know Your People as People
      3. Kind Leaders Spend Their Time Checking in with People
      4. Checking in with People Creates a Culture of Trust
      5. Act Kindly Behavior 2 – Listen: With Open Eyes, Open Ears, Open Mind and an Open Heart
        1. Listen with Open Eyes
        2. Listen with Open Ears
        3. Keep Your Ears Pricked for Signals of Culture of Fear and Unkindness
        4. Listen with an Open Mind
        5. Listen with an Open Heart
    3. Act Kindly Behavior 3: Recognize Others
      1. Recognize the Means Instead of the Ends
      2. Recognize People for Who They Are as People
      3. Leading by Kind Example Creates a World of Kindness
      4. One Last Thought…
    4. Practice: Practical Exercises to Use to Turn Your Thoughts into Action
      1. Exercise 1: How Well Do You Know Your People as People?
      2. Exercise 2: How Are You Spending Your Precious Time?
      3. Exercise 3: Listening with Open Eyes and Open Ears
      4. Exercise 4: Listening with Open Mind and an Open Heart
      5. Exercise 5: Recognizing Your People Means Saying Thank You for Their Effort
    5. Reflection: What Would You Do? Kind Leader Practice Scenarios
      1. Leading by Kind Example Leads to Leading by Kind Example
        1. Scenario – Kay’La and Kevin’s Stories: There’s Always a Way to Lead by Kind Example…
      2. Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply
    6. Chapter 6 Kind-Points
    7. Notes
  14. 7 Collaboration, Cooperation and Kindness, Not Competition
    1. Discussion – Beyond Win–Win: A World of Kindness
      1. The Kind Leadership Continuum
      2. Competition: Win–Lose Interactions
        1. Two-sides – Division – Divisiveness – Fear – Distrust
        2. Here’s What to Look for
        3. Here’s What to Do
      3. Collaboration: Interactions based on ‘Buy-in’
        1. Buy-in – Opt-Out – Two Sides – Compromise – Separate
        2. Here’s What to Look for
        3. Here’s What to Do
    2. Cooperation: Interactions Based on ‘Win–Win’
    3. Kindness: Interacting beyond ‘Win–Win’
    4. Practice: Practical Exercises to Use to Turn Your Thoughts into Action
      1. Exercise 1: How Competitive Is Your Organization? How Competitive Are You?
      2. Exercise 2: Collaboration? Cooperation? Do You Recognize Both?
      3. Exercise 3: Creating a World of Kind Interactions
    5. Reflection: What Would You Do? Kind Leader Practice Scenarios
      1. Competition and Fear Don’t go with Kindness
        1. Scenario – Kay’La and Kevin’s Stories: Together, as One, with Kindness, We Can Break the Vicious Cycle of Fear and Competition
      2. Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply
    6. Chapter 7 Kind-Points
    7. Notes
  15. 8 When Things Don’t Go Kindly
    1. Discussion: Kind Leadership Is the Answer
      1. The Top Three Reasons Unkindness Happens
      2. The Five Steps Kind Leaders Take When Things Don’t Go Kindly
      3. True Stories of Unkindness and What Kind Leaders Did about It
      4. Story #1: Think Kindly
      5. Story 2: Speak Kindly
      6. Story 3: Act Kindly
      7. There’s No Such Thing as ‘Cruel To Be Kind’ … If It’s Not Kind, Don’t Do It
      8. Failures of Leadership and Failures of Kindness Have Terrible Consequences for Us All
    2. Practice: Practical Exercises to Use to Turn Your Thoughts into Action
      1. Exercise 1: How Do You Respond To Unkindness Currently?
      2. Exercise 2: How Could You Have Used the Five Steps to Respond Differently?
      3. Exercise 3: Deliberately Practicing the Five Steps
    3. Reflection: What Would You Do? Kind Leader Practice Scenarios
      1. Kind Leadership Is the Answer to Creating a Culture of Trust
        1. Scenario 1 – Kay’La’s Story: It’s Not the End, It’s Just the Beginning!
        2. Scenario 2 – Kevin’s Story: Everything Is Kind in the End. If It Isn’t Kind, It’s Not the End!
      2. Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply
    4. Chapter 8 Kind-Points
    5. Notes
  16. Conclusion
    1. The Time for Kind Leadership Is Now
    2. Notes
  17. Glossary
    1. The Three Key Kind Leadership Practices and Their Behaviors
    2. 1.  Think Kindly
    3. 2.  Speak Kindly
    4. 3.  Act Kindly
    5. The Kind Leadership Continuum
    6. The Five Key Steps Kind Leaders Take When Things Don’t Go Kindly
    7. Notes
  18. Some Additional Resources to Help Deepen Your Practice
  19. Index

Product information

  • Title: The Kind Leader
  • Author(s): Karyn Ross
  • Release date: September 2021
  • Publisher(s): Productivity Press
  • ISBN: 9781000434651