Be Sympathetic about Other People’s Desire to Know
Information is power. So it should be no surprise that when you have information, other people want to know what it is. They want to know if the information affects them, but even if it doesn’t, a natural curiosity nearly always remains. No one likes being out of the loop. Once people know there is something they don’t know, they begin to put energy into finding out what it is. And even if they don’t need to know what they don’t know, they would still rather know—if only to decide that for themselves!
Telling people they don’t need to know is a strategy that just doesn’t work—it insults intelligence, signals a lack of trust, and nearly always sounds like patronage. Responding to people’s inquiries with comments like “no comment” only tends to increase their desire to find out. And notice how determined, original, and downright clever people can become when secrets are created. Under these circumstances, it is reasonable to expect that people will pump you for information. They may be direct and candid around you, but some may become calculating and manipulative as well. It is important to be prepared for any and all of these strategies.
You don’t like to lie, so you would rather avoid or close down questions as quickly as possible. Requests for information can put you in a difficult position, which puts you on your guard. Sometimes this defensiveness is easily picked up—perhaps misinterpreted—and that can be enough to encourage ...