2Teaching an Old Brain New Tricks

When we first sat down to write a book on communication, we were troubled by a dirty little secret: people don’t actually improve their communication by reading books. Of course, books can teach important, interesting ideas. But we wanted to accomplish more than that. When we imagined what you, as a reader, would take away from this book, we didn’t just want you to talk more effectively about conversations; we wanted you to talk more effectively within conversations. We wanted to give you not just knowledge but skill.

The difference between knowledge and skill is critical, and in some areas of our lives, it’s obvious. Take the example we mentioned in the first chapter: basketball. Say you’ve read a long, detailed ...

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