7Spectator‐Actor Mindset Framework
We don't get to choose what happens to us, but we do get to choose how we respond to our experience.
—Edith Eger
We all find ourselves in situations where we feel like we have no control and all we can do is react to what is happening to us. We don't feel powerful in such instances; we often feel powerless. I challenge you to think about the options open to you when you confront super challenging situations. Lead with this mindset when you start to unravel a challenge that you want to coach yourself on.
Understanding the Spectator‐Actor Mindset Framework
This framework helps you analyze a challenge facing you with an actor mindset (What can I control? What are my options?) instead of a spectator mindset (What is happening to me? Who is doing this to me?). While it's logical to start from a spectator perspective and try to understand what is happening to you, if you get stuck there, you miss the opportunity to explore options and to feel more in control.
I'm not saying this mindset will ensure the successful outcome you want; however, it allows you to tap into your values (see Chapter 5), and consider a path forward aligned with your values. And ultimately, isn't that real success?
Which Mindset Is Going to Serve You Best?
| Spectator Mindset | Actor Mindset |
|---|---|
| You feel defensiveness and experience a lack of choices. | You feel responsible. |
| When things aren't going your way, it's tempting to feel like things are being done to you, and you ... |
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